Johnny "Spades" Malone
Alias(es): Spades, The Skirt Chaser, Home Wrecker
Real Name: Johnny Malone
Apparent Age: 28
Concept: The Gambler meets The Action Star
Spades is considered the "pretty boy" Child of Haqim. He's blond, blue-eyed, and devilishly good looking. He's not particularly tall, but carries himself as though he were. You can usually find him wearing a very loud Hawaiian shirt, a Charlie Sheen-esque bowling shirt, or an obnoxious T-shirt boasts his sexual prowess. Other times he can be seen wearing sunglasses at night and a cabbie cap.
Acknowledged by Lady Anne of London
Feared by former Prince Cleo Rothschilde of Philadelphia
Loyal by former Prince Asleigh of Philadelphia
Dedicated by former Prince Ian Nottingham of Philadelphia
Trustworthy by former Prince Adrian Florent of Baltimore
Gallant by Prince Vincent Velario of Baltimore
Card Shark. Ladies man. Warrior. Spades has been around the Mid-Atlantic "block" for a while. He's rarely seen without a deck of cards in his hands or a woman by his side. In late 2002, he charmed his way into the court of Philadelphia from London and was quickly made Primogen for the Children of Haqim. He then worked his way from Scourge to Sheriff. During his time in Philly, Spades wooed the women and made political moves to give future Children of Haqim respect in the city.
Around 2005, Spades moved to Baltimore to help the city politically and with it's Sabbat problems. After a year, he went underground for reasons known only to him. In the late Summer of 2010, he resurfaced back in Baltimore, claiming he spent his time catching up on the Harry Potter books. No one believed that and chalked it up to Spades being his usual wise-ass self. Then again, no one has ever asked the real reasons why he disappeared. Now, he's looking to pick up where he left off.
- Worked as a Casino Dealer in Atlantic City, NJ when a mortal.
- Philadelphia's first Child of Haqim Primogen.
- Began to move politically to make the Children of Haqim more welcome within Philadelphia.
- Became Philly's first Children of Haqim Scourge and then Sheriff.
- Convinced Philly's Anarchs to fight along side the Camarilla and keep the city standing after a massive siege in '04.
- Rescued Jacklyn Braddox of Clan Toreador a total of 3 times during the siege. This led to a romantic involvement.
- Started hanging out with his new partner in crime, Black Jack Graham of clan Ravnos.
- Moved to Baltimore after Jacklyn's death and served as Primogen & Sheriff.
- A romantic involvement with Gillian Matarazi of clan Brujah began.
- Got caught up in a "slight" misunderstanding with Garrett Dannington, Prince of Baltimore at the time.
- Was the guest dealer for Calliope Van Horne's Bacchanal Poker Game at the '06 Nonclave event.
- Disappeared for several years.
- Resurfaced in Baltimore in August 2010 and became Primogen & Deputy Sheriff.
- Survived a massive attack by the Sabbat but was abducted and forcibly blood-bound to several members of a pack.
- Relentlessly hunted down said members of pack and broke the bond held on him.
- Was the guest dealer for Justicar Cock Robin's Poker Game at Baltimore's Glitter & Gloom Event.
- No longer a Probationary Sect Member after seeing Justicar Petronius.
- Became the city's new Sheriff under Prince Vincent Velario of clan Toreador.
- Helped hunt down & kill infernalist, Entreri Giovanni.
Those are a "Neddy No-No"!
Rishi Massoud, Alabastor Haroukin, Lucas Grunwald, Tobias Truefeather, Verlic Marr, Fiona MacGregor, Alicia Knight, Victoria DeLaNoche, Julius Cole, Evelyn Landrake, Sam Clarke, Lucas Morgan, David Fletcher, Henry Jones, Alana Lowery, Luther Rommel, "Razor" Eddie Ogle (deceased), Brian Kalo (deceased), Mei Lii (deceased), Iskander North (deceased), Liam MacGregor (deceased), Jacklyn Braddox (deceased), Bjorn Sigurdson (deceased), Black Jack Graham (???)
Anyone Spades tends to piss off.
A man that Spades only refers to as Mustafa.
None at this time.
Ian Flemming's James Bond
(Though he's more like Sterling Archer)
Gambit from X-Men
John McClane from Die Hard
Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters
Mr. White from Reservoir Dogs
Anthony DiNozzo from NCIS
"Name of the Game" - The Crystal Method
"Lucky Day" - Morphine
"Ace of Spades" - Motorhead
"Little Less Conversation" (remix) - Elvis vs. JXL
"Luck be a Lady Tonight" - Frank Sinatra
"Sex Machine" - James Brown
"Poison 2002" - Beborn Beton
"Rock the Casbah" - The Clash
"Lollipop Porn" - Crazy Town
"The Sound of Silence" (remix) - E.C.O.H.
"Absurd (Whitewash Edit)" - Fluke
"Switch On" - Paul Oakenfold
"Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me" - U2
"Short Change Hero" - The Heavy
"It's Going Down" - The Executioners (feat. Linkin Park)
"Fighting Trousers" - Professor Elemental
"Back Against the Wall" - Cage the Elephant
Suggested by the peanut gallery:
"Just a Gigolo" - Louis Prima
"Dicks Don't Grow on Trees - Robyn Archer
"I don't cheat at playing cards. I only know how to so I can catch cheats. If someone was cheating and I didn't catch it, I applaud them."
~ On card cheating
"You know, I've got a built-in silencer to help with that little noise problem of yours."
~ On stupid Kindred
"Are you being a bad girl? Please tell me you're being a bad girl."
~ How Spades likes his women
"We can sneak away for a quickie. I GUARANTEE no one will hear us."
~ On sex
"If this gathering gets any livelier, a funeral is gonna break out."
~ On boring Elysiums
"Excuse me. There's a tall beautiful glass of Brujah I need to talk to."
~ On seeing Razor Eddie for the first time.
"Everyone asks me what Assamite blood tastes like. I usually say it's kind of like a buffet. A little bit of everything is in there."
~ Answering a truly difficult question
"I'm the loudest Assamite you'll ever meet. You can hear me through my own Silence."
~ On his personality
Tobias: "You know what that is?"
Spades: "Yeah. Dinner."
~ Tobias Truefeather & Spades encounter an Assamite Anti Sorcerer
"I really wanna ask him, 'What's in YOUR wallet?'."
~ On clanmate Bjorn's viking nature
"I eye-banged so many women that I seriously need Visine."
~ on the 2012 Glitter & Gloom Event
"Roxy Codone...now there's a drug I'd do all night."
~ after a dance with the aforementioned Brujah
- Has a general dislike of Anarchs.
- Hates alcohol and drugs yet denies a possible gambling & sex addiction.
- People rarely see Spades win a game. Or is he really trying to win?
- He maybe pursuing Alicia Knight, his former deputy Sheriff.
- You CAN actually hear him through his own Silence of Death.
- Worst... Gambler... Ever...
- Has finally met a girl he will never, ever flirt with. It's not that he doesn't like her, it's that he'd be dead shortly after.
- Lady Luck won't return his calls, and who can blame her after the STD.
- He's what some would call a "Naughty Boy" this Christmas.
- He's caused a relationship problem between Fiona MacGregor & Lane Nichols.
- He's caused a relationship problem between Harlen Miles & Jenny Talia
- Spades is actually failed stand up comic from Atlantic City and not a Casino Dealer.
- Is alleged to be a member of the Cirque des Ténèbres.
- Spades likes kinky sex with tow truck drivers.*