User:AAD-017

Hi! I'm Kimberly D., a happy southerner and RPG enthusiast. Besides running about with PCs, I do light web or wiki work for some gaming organizations.

OWbN PCs and NPCs portrayed in the past:

• Stella Brahms, Ventrue farmer and artist
• Isabella Domina, Malkavian Jekyll and Hyde
• Olivia Reed Brannon, the cutest Child of Haqim
• Jennica Sparrow, ...Gangrel?
• Lucinde, Ventrue Justicar, when the coords can find my remote control

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Over the years, I have accidentally(?) collected a list of things I am not allowed to do at WoD LARPs. Here they are, for your amusement and/or warning.

1. I cannot make a garou named Social Justice Warrior.
2. Can't make a Child of Gaia named HashtagLegalize.
3. Cannot make a Gangrel that wanders the earth after killing the son of a powerful prince because he killed my Gangrel's blind mentor.
4. Can't build a bomb in my basement in Accord (because I have five dots in engineering but not explosives).
5. Not allowed to wear any costume that includes strategically placed electrician's tape.
6. Can't use peanut butter for a prop to represent something other than peanut butter.
7. I can't shoot another PC in Mage: the Awakening because my Guardian of the Veil finds their ignorance a danger to mages everywhere.
8. Not allowed to make a PC with the flaw "Small Size" and then stick google-eye stickers on my cleavage and insist people play out "making eye contact."
9. I can't claim my cleavage as innate status, even when I think it's "only fair" to spend XP on what I can't negate.
10. There can be no seduction rolls whenever I am within fifteen feet of a Justicar.
11. "So I can head-butt people in the face" is not a legitimate reason to app for a Bastet PC.
12. Not allowed to pimp out other PCs as justification to grow my Resources. That goes double for NPCs.
13. Irish Brujah PCs are not members of the "leprechaun bloodline."
14. I am not allowed to teach new Masquerade players the "other, extra" Traditions.
15. I am not allowed to settle ruling disputes with STs by challenging them to the "field of honor."
16. On becoming the ruling PC in a game, I am not allowed to mandate that all men wear kilts.
17. May not bid "Pretty Pretty Princess" as a status or trait against those "other, lesser Toreador."
18. I cannot play a Tremere with a heavy southern accent, referring to my primogen as "that sum'bitch."
19. Not even if I wear Daisy Dukes.
20. Cannot force Toreador to spend willpower to avoid entrancement by a piece of shitty art I convinced an ST to rate at crafts 5.
    1. Actually, if the ST says it is crafts 5, I totally can. But I shouldn't.
21. Psychological warfare on an OOC level is against the spirit of the Member Handbook and I am not allowed to use it.
22. I am not the Official Alcohol Tester at any con.
23. My Toreador courtesan cannot convince people to start calling all Princes and Archons by Pokemon codenames as she's "gotta catch 'em all."
24. I am not allowed to hand out tiny complimentary bars of soap during the con.
25. I cannot sit by the door of an IC room with Olympic-style score cards to judge costumes.
26. I cannot say my coterie is sponsored by Smirnoff, or Jack Daniels, even if it is.
27. My PCs cannot set things on fire "for shits and giggles."
28. I can't do it OOC, either.
29. Likewise, during an investigation, my character cannot "glass parking lot" a suspicious site to "save us the trouble, later."
30. Cosmopolitan magazine is not the revised Toreador handbook.
31. "Ivory Tower" is not a euphemism.
    1. Nor may I use it so in the presence of a Justicar, with the implication I can "forever make it stand."
32. Being a redhead is not an approval justification for Infernal Power.
33. Nor does it mean I can commit Diablerie without a test because "gingers just eat souls."
34. Conflict resolution is not handled by Thunderdome and I am not Tina Turner.
35. I am not allowed to make a magic item called the Ugly Stick and then refuse to use it on certain people due to knowing it won't make a difference.
36. My spirit animal is not a Rokea.
37. Anarchs do not eat Ramen cooked in blood, and I can't use Ramen noodles coated in ketchup as a prop.
38. "Shake a Brujah and throw him at the enemy" is not a valid battle plan.
39. I can't instigate a game of hide 'n seek in the Hedge.
40. My vampire PC can't replicate the Men in Black memory-eraser-pen as a substitute for Dominate.
41. No PC I play is allowed to open any caskets, ever again.
42. My Camarilla-loyal PC cannot keep a Salubri in her basement, again.
43. My Changeling PC is not a vegetarian because she "fucking hates vegetables."
44. Garou don't regain Gnosis by "hugging trees," "eating dirt," or "peeing on vampires."
45. I can only get away with killing an infernal creature with an office chair once.
46. This is not a boffer larp.
47. "Boffer larp" does not mean what I think it means, nor should I tell new members that.
48. I am not allowed to resurrect Goratrix ever again.
49. I am not allowed to date Goratrix ever again.
50. The next time I spend a third of the chronicle in a chantry, I need to be a Tremere.
51. I will not claim to have prophecy gifts and create fake spoilers for Star Wars: The Force Awakens just to see young Anarchs freak out.
52. I cannot substitute the show "Supernatural" for any type of lore.
53. I will not refer to clan Ventrue as the suppository of the Camarilla.
54. I am not allowed to narrate my Carthian gunslinger's thoughts and actions as if it were the voiceover of a noir detective movie. Especially when doing so reveals the secrets of other PCs.
55. I will not tell people that I'm actually part of the True Toreador and all clans have a "True" version, just like the True Brujah.
56. Travel-sized soaps are not appropriate as swag-bag gifts.
57. "Booze for the Booze god!" is not the Fianna battle cry.
58. Not allowed to rewrite traditional hymns for Gaia and sing them nonstop, especially "Gaia Loves Me, This I Know."
    1. Ditto for any song from Barney the Dinosaur.
59. I am not allowed to recreate anything I saw in Apocalypse Now.
    1. Even if I can present a paper explaining the ties to Heart of Darkness "justifying" it as "art."
60. Furthermore, no more of my characters can be based on Tropic Thunder, especially RDJ's character.
61. "Gaia" is not a three-syllable word. Not even in the South.
62. The Monroe Doctrine is not justification for killing European PCs.
63. Manifest Destiny does not apply a bonus to my influence actions.
64. I cannot make up totally off-base pronunciations for "Tzimisce" and teach them to new players.
65. I am not allowed to hide subliminal messages in wiki code.
66. Substituting my own clan meetings with those of another clan doesn't mean I get a vote in their clanhead elections.
    1. Unless they allow it.
67. "Awkward Con Conversation Bingo" is only fun if everyone gets to play.
68. Signing up other members for the rules email list is cruel and now a bannable offense.
69. There is no alternative to Rock-Paper-Scissors for challenges in games, especially the following: fistfights, staring contests, rap battles, jousting, Trivial Pursuit.
70. Mean Girls is not the revised Toreador handbook.
71. I cannot present a list of PC sugar daddies to a storyteller as justification for a large purchase.
    1. ...until they email the storyteller with their approval.
72. I cannot sell Princes at auction, anymore.
73. I can't start another bidding war between Justicars.
74. 2edgy4u is not a Sabbat status.
75. "Zoo Director," "Tour Guide," and "Habitat Cleaner" are not the titles of officers in any Anarch domain.
76. HYDRA is not a branch of the Sabbat, the Anarch Movement, or The Society of Leopold.
    1. It's Technocracy.
77. "That's some real conversation for your ass," is not the new catchphrase sweeping the Ivory Tower.
78. My ass is not an Architect, no matter how many sweet motions it makes.