Shanghai Kelly

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Clan Gangrel
Position Deceased
Status 6+2
Domain San Francisco, CA
Coterie None
Society ???
Path Humanity -
Player [1]

Shanghai Kelly

Qi Long.jpg

Alias(es): The Mockingbird, The Raggedy Man, King of the Crimps, Patron Saint of the Silver Tongue

Real Name: James Kelly
Apparent Age: 50's
Fame 5: Underworld Gambler
Concept: Street Preaching Populist

Detailed Status:

  • Acknowledged
  • Engaging
  • Famous
  • Stalwart
  • Relentless
  • Silvered
  • Empowered as Archon
  • Feared as Archon

Stuff to Know

Known History

Those I've ridden with

  • First of the Seventeen
  • 51st Irregulars out of Bayou Baton

Folk I don't mind

Foghorn leghorn by thenameisian-d3hpqri.jpg
  • Saints
  • Sinners
  • And those in between

Folk that raise my hackles

  • Giovanni Carpetbaggers
  • Setite Lawyers
  • Tremere Fortune Tellers
  • Most Albinos
  • Brazilian Quitters
  • Egg Fang Yung Welchers
  • Wraiths who interrupt card games
  • Emo Brujah
  • Dumb Harpies
  • Floridians, cause you live in a state that looks like a drooping penis
  • Those little bouncy Malks
  • Giant Birds

My Personal Jesus

Jenny Two-Tails

My Damned Kid

Her last name was ripped from his own when she failed a challenge to keep it.



Character Inspirations

  • Al Swearengen before there was Al Swearengen
  • Augustus MacRae - Lonesome Dove
  • Jimmy James from Newsradio - not sure who wrote this but thumbs up

The Roast of Shanghai Kelly

Broken into 6 tasty parts

The Music


"We ain't nothing more than tombstones with odometers instead of dates."

"It is being handled. Everyone, lean closer to your screens and type it together. It's being handled. I am not even pushing for correct spelling so Scourge Tanner can join in. "Itz bean handled." is acceptable."

"Cause this is what I heard. I am a fucking quitter. I am fucking quitter. I fucking quit. But please...please...please...respect me. Furthermore, Mr. Eddie Dervish Patron St. of Apologists....I do treat him as I have troughten him. With the same respect he gave, crying out for the kids to get off his lawn. His bitter and overgrown lawn that he groused about not having everyone respect him....shit his crying status...bullcrap. That was latin for nobody is respecting me. No one is listening to me. People older and wiser than me are picking on me and won't let me in their club...For fuck sake, Edward....if you are hearing something else....there is the fucking door. Follow his Kool-Aid shape "I Quit OOOOOh Yeah..." Out into the fucking a broke ass Eyore following Victor the Pooh. He deserves as much respect as shit on shoe." On the rage quit of Vincent King.

Sometimes being in this clan is like being pecked to death by a duck.

"Now, long, long ago, the world was a big tittied woman..."

"Listen to me prattle onward....making all peaceable-like. Shit, call up Norway and have them polish off my Nobel Mother Fucking Prize..."


Has a secret fetish for albinos.
  • That's not even his hat!
  • Shanghai Kelly didn't get his name for being a famous trader, but rather, for that being the city he picked up most of his STDs.
  • Shanghai Kelly keeps getting beat by the Chicken Hawk. It's embarrassing, but he keeps trying.
  • Likes to shanghai kindred from San Francisco under Prince Virgil Deems.
  • Shanghai doesn't hate Kuei Jin because of their strange powers or the war--but he's got horrible memories of some bad sweet-and-sour chicken.
  • Shanghai is offering three major boons as a dowry to marry Virgilia Two-Tails so he doesn't have to deal with her anymore.
  • Fucked a Nos, her sire came in and threatened a shotgun wedding... and Shanghai ran away.
  • Rumored to be secret lovers with: Elissa Maxwell, Hugo Valentine, Cock Robin, and Virgil Deems.
  • Cock Robin hates Shanghai because the Gangrel can lay a bigger egg.
  • Shanghai secretly propositioned Cock Robin, but has been denied many times... with a "Cluck No!!!"
  • Shanghai is an Archon because he lost a poker game to Art Morgan, who was high at the time. The original bet entailed giving up his hat, and when he wouldn't do that, Art made him an archon, instead, as punishment.
  • Shanghai has the coping skills of a five year old needing a Ritalin fix!
  • Receives a lot of complaints about the San Francisco Furry Community.
  • Has been caught openly trying to seduce the Scourge of San Francisco.
  • Was given the San Diego zoo as a gift from Jessica Kesch
  • Decorated all of the feeders in the San Diego with a picture with Preston Jonas DeWinter likeness.
  • Humor aside, Prior to becoming a Camarilla Archon, Shanghai Kelly was known for running a Kindred only poker game at major elysia events. Every game, in order to ensure no cheaters sat at the table, Kelly would make each Kindred swear on a Bone of Lies that they would not use any of their disciplines or any form of cheating at the table. Anyone who would not accede to this was not allowed a seat at the table.
  • In the final hand of one such card game, Kelly beat a member of the West Coast DMH with The Infamous Real "Dead Man's Hand" held by Wild Bill Hickcock when he was gunned down by John McCall. Upon turning over the cards, Kelly cried out, "There ya Damn Poser, THERE is the REAL Dead Man's Hand." before raking in all the chips with a surly grin.
  • Barely survived an intense battle between his sideburns and Chuck Norris's beard.